Broken
by mynameiscaitlyn
Summary: I never thought I would be here. Standing at the end of the aisle waiting for her. She told me before that she’s dreamed of this day for years. A beautiful dress, a handsome groom, all of the people she loves in one room watching her. Angsty BL. BJ. BLJu.


**Hey everybody! Here's a one- shot for you to read while I'm writing the next chapters of my stories. **_**Words Unspoken **_**will be my first priority because it's probably my favourite story and it seems to be getting awesome feedback. As usual, I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters. I also do not own Lifehouse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, or Augustana.**

_The broken clock is a comfort, _

_It helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow _

_From stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting _

_Though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, _

_Like you've already figured out  
_

I never thought I would be here. Standing at the end of the aisle waiting for her. She told me before that she's dreamed of this day for years. A beautiful dress, a handsome groom, all of the people she loves in one room watching her. I turn around quickly and see the minister, ready to give his service.

_  
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain, there is healing  
In your name, I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, _

_I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely, holdin' on to you_

I turn to my side and see my little brother, Nathan Scott, who gives me a reassuring smile. My nephew, Jamie Scott, walks down the aisle, wearing a little black Armani tuxedo that she ordered for him, and he gives me a huge grin. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle next. First Millicent Huxtable, her former assistant and current great friend, Haley Scott, her best friend and former roommate, then Peyton Sawyer, her other best friend and my ex- girlfriend, then Samantha Walker- Davis, the feisty teenager she had adopted just one year ago and oddly enough, her other best friend, and finally Rachel Gatina, _the _best friend and the girl who made me realize who was really 'the one'. Each one of them wears a beautiful dress that she designed just for them, to fit each of their different, yet amazing, personalities. And each one of them gives me a comforting smile and I continue to look toward the walkway.

_The broken locks were a warning, _

_You got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, _

_I'm an open book instead  
I still see your reflection _

_Inside of my eyes  
That are looking for a purpose,_

_They're still looking for life  
_

Then she comes out, wearing the beautiful wedding dress I always dreamed she'd be in. Mouth McFadden is walking her down the aisle, just like I knew he would. _'She's the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.' _I hear people saying in the crowd. It's true. She's the most beautiful bride anyone's ever seen. I look into those beautiful hazel eyes as she walks down the aisle. It's covered in yellow flowers. Gerber daisies, I think. She told me once that those were her favourite flowers. She smiles as she proceeds to walk up the steps of the gazebo and she joins her bridesmaids. The minister starts his service. Her smile is the most amazing I've ever seen it. Her brownish- greenish eyes are twinkling in a way only her eyes can. Her dimples are as deep as craters on the moon. The minister is almost done, now.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
with a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

"If anyone has any objections to why this man and this woman should not be joined together in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." He says. This part doesn't happen in real weddings, but I know that it's what she would want to happen, because I know it's her favourite part of the weddings she's seen on her favourite television shows. Peyton's eyes find mine. Peyton looks to me and I do nothing. I turn my attention back to her. "You may now kiss your bride. I now present to all of you, Mr. and Mrs. Julian Baker."

_  
I'm handin' on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm handing on to the words you say  
You said that I will be ok_

_The broken lights on the freeway _

_Left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, _

_Haven't forgotten my way home_

I am at the reception now. Dinner has just passed and Mouth, announces that it's time for the bride and groom's first dance. Julian takes her hand and guides her to the middle of the dance floor, and she's smiling. Oh, how I wish she would stop smiling. I hear the familiar opening chords of 'Your Guardian Angel' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

_When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face  
I can't replace  
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out  
How this world turns cold  
And breaks through my soul  
And I know, I'll find deep inside me  
I can be the one_

They move slowly and perfectly in sync. Peyton makes her way over to me. "So, how does it feel?" she says. I turn to look at her. The pained expression in my eyes should tell her. "Do yourself a favour, Luke, just try and be happy for her." She says and we still keep watching them. "I thought you were going to say something. At the ceremony, I mean. We all did. But even if you did say something, anything, I don't think it would've helped. It took her six and a half years, but she's finally over you." I can't say anything. I think I'll break down if I do.

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay  
Seasons are changing and waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you, I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

'Cause you're my, you're my, my  
My true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away

'Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away  
And please tell me, you'll stay, stay

Rachel is next to approach me. "Listen," she says. "I know this probably hurts like hell, but you have to stay strong. And maybe someday soon, it won't hurt anymore."

"I don't want to wait for someday," it's the first words that come out of my mouth. "I don't want it to hurt ever. I want her." Rachel just nods because she knows. I don't know when the hell Rachel Gatina got so wise and insightful, but I'm just going with it.

"He loves her so much. And I know you don't want to hear it right now, but someone's got to tell you, Lucas, she loves him too," I cringe.

"I loved her," I retaliate. "Why wasn't my love enough for her? I know she didn't trust me at the time, but I loved her. Why wasn't that enough?"

_Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know, I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

"I don't want to make you feel worse," she says. Good. Because it is not possible for me to feel any worse than I do right now. "But, she told me, once, that when she broke up with you she sat outside your door for two hours, waiting for you to come out and chase her." Never mind. I do feel worse. "That's all she wanted. She wanted you to fight for her. Don't you remember? That's all she ever wanted." Of course I remember. Rachel puts her hand on my shoulder and I know she's trying to comfort me. But I know I am a coward. I haven't even said her name today.

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven_

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever

There's about two hours left to the wedding still. Julian is dancing with Rachel and she's dancing with Nathan now. There laughing and smiling and probably talking about times before junior year, before they turned into the worst versions of themselves and when they were close. The song finishes and Nathan kisses her cheek and says something that's apparently hilarious. A new song starts and at the opening notes I jump out of my seat. I send a grateful smile to Mouth, who nods slightly. I walk toward her and see out of the corner of my eye that Julian is now dancing with Sam. I hold out my hand to her. "Can I have this dance, Brooke?" She obliges and we slowly start to move together.

_In the light of the sun  
Is there anyone  
Oh it has begun  
Oh dear you look so lost  
Eyes are red  
And tears are shed  
The world you must have crossed  
You said  
You don't know me  
And you don't even care  
Oh yeah  
She said you don't know me  
And you don't wear my chains  
Oh yeah  
Yeah_

"You look beautiful." I say. She does. She looks amazing and happy and just so… Brooke. She smiles slightly at the compliment.

"Thanks, Lucas. You look nice, too." She responds. She's being very distant. Just like the last time we slow danced to this song. I feel the same way I did that day, too. Like I just lost her. But this time, it's forever.

_Essential yet appealed  
Carry all your thoughts  
Across an open field  
When flowers gaze at you  
They're not the only ones  
Who cry when they see you  
You said  
You don't know me  
And you don't even care  
Oh yeah  
She said you don't know me  
And you don't wear my chains  
Oh yeah_

"Do you remember, when we danced to this before?" I ask. And she nods. "Nathan and Haley's second wedding. God, I was so stupid back then." She pulls back just a bit.

"Where are you going with this, Luke?" she asks. I have to choose my words carefully, so not to scare her away.

"I'm just saying," I start to say. "In retrospect, I would've fought like hell to let you know I love you. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel any different."

"It's fine. It's all in the past." She tells me. I know she's just trying to make me stop talking about it. But if I can't say this now then I never will.

"I always have this dream. We're in my room and you're breaking up with me. You tell me you don't miss me anymore and you tell me you'll always love me. And then you leave. And every single time, I chase after you. And I tell you I love you so much." I say and I can tell from her face that she's shocked.

"It's just a dream." She tells me. I know it is.

"I know. But it's my dream."

**So, I'm done. What did you guys think? I'm really proud of it. I've written a lot of oneshots but this is the first one worthy of being posted. Now that I think of it, this would make a pretty interesting story. Not a full length one but like 3 or 4 chapters the most. But all my writing juice is done, so you guys will have to deal with it. Be sure to look for an update from **_**Words Unspoken **_**some time this or next week. As always, I love reviews! **


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